Have Confidence Lady
As a photographer, I'm sure its not very surprising to hear that I'm not particularly comfortable on the other side of the camera. (shocker, right?) Honestly, photography is so perfect for my personality. I'm introverted by nature (yes. I am. That doesn't mean I'm not friendly and that I don't know how to communicate. Please, its not a disability, its a personality trait.) But every now and again, I know I need to force myself to have my portrait taken. To have someone else try and capture a tiny piece of who I am... and then, to actually PUT IT OUT THERE. How awkward is it to post all these photos of myself? Let me tell you... awkward.
It may or may not surprise you to discover that as well as naturally being an introvert, I have also always battled with self-confidence. Some people find these things surprising to hear, since I can be extremely outgoing (now) and because I've always dressed kinda crazy. In the past few years, I've finally started to come into my own in a LOT of ways. But especially in knowing the difference between egotistic pride and confident pride. To take ownership of the gifts and talents I have been given and to be PROUD of them. To be able to agree with people when they comment on my photography being good. To charge what I'm worth when it comes to sessions and photo shoots. I have been able to see myself grow so much in that way... but still I struggle when someone comments on how pretty I am. Or if they like my style. Or honestly, if they make any comment on my physical appearance. Weird, right? Most people would never guess. But I'm here to say that it is something I struggle with constantly. I do my best to keep my identity firmly rooted in Christ and in my heart, but I would be lying if I stood here (in these photos) and told you I don't look in the mirror, or sit in my room regularly and battle with myself.
But as I find myself trying to invest in other young women and I see them battling with the same things, it both breaks my heart and also challenges me to be open and honest. And to stop being so critical. I love photography because I see beauty everywhere. I see people and I see beauty. I see joy, I see stories and emotions and I see creation. So why is it so hard to see that in myself?
I want the young women I am around to see their value and beauty, to grasp their true identity, so I am working hard at embracing my own.
We are all created in the image of an amazing creator... mistakes are not possible.
"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." -Genesis 1:27
(Photos by my friend Johanna)